Taper time. Am I seriously in the home stretch?! With the way my body feels, I should be here. My confidence that I can do this has been replaced with doubts on whether or not I did enough of the work to finish. I just have A reoccurring day dream about sitting in front of a big beautiful house up in Kenosha 21 miles in to my marathon, tears streaming down my face, in intense pain, saying, "I quit, I quit."
I have always told myself that I am not a quitter...no way. You finish what you start, no questions asked. This fourteen weeks of training has shown me that deep down, if I know I can't win or at least perform well, I am a big quitter...and I hate that.
There have been several times in these past few weeks that I have felt anything but victorious. I think I have felt defeat more times that victory. And I know, there is going to come a point on May 1st that I will no longer be able to rely on the people around me, the music in my ears, or even the strength in my lungs or legs...I am going to have to rely on the fight within me...which leaves me wondering how strong that fight is now...
Dear Wisconsin Marathon,
I have never done this before and quite frankly, you're beginning to scare me. I am asking you to be kind to me...to provide enough hydration, enough porta-potties, and not so much wind ( I know weather is not your area of control, but I thought I would throw that in there just in case you can pull some strings somewhere). Or, on the other hand, just slip a note in my mailbox and tell me that I can't. Yeah, that's a better idea...tell me that I can't make it to your finish line...and then look for me there.
It may not be pretty - BB
1 comment:
WIPE OUT THOSE DOUBTS!!! You can and WILL finish that marathon! I'm not saying that we won't cry or say that we can't; I'm not saying that it will be a picture perfect finish. I'm just saying that we will be victorious!!!
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